There’s a beautiful hymn that is playing over and over in my heart this morning. It was written by Frances Crosby and published way back in 1890. I find it amazing that those words penned so long ago, still touch and transform my soul today. The song is entitled He Hideth My Soul.
He hideth my soul in the cleft of the rock,
That shadows a dry, thirsty land;
He hideth my life in the depths of His love,
And covers me there with His hand,
And covers me there with His hand.
I don’t know about you, but there are times, I feel as though God is hiding from me. There are times I question: “Where are You? Do you care? Are You listening? Do You see me?” And yes, there are those times when I have screamed in anger, wondering how and why? I have also trembled in fear as I allowed doubt to overtake my mind with lies as I even questioned if God had finally given up on me. I have wondered if the scriptures were true, did He really feel my pain.
In time past, I have been ashamed and even felt the heavy hand of guilt as these thoughts and questions rose from my brokenness. Yet, in those moments when I came boldly to the throne and voiced my hurt to my Father, it was then I felt Him holding me.
You and I are not alone in our doubts and confusion. There were many others before us who felt the same desperation. The same emptiness and fear of being forsaken. It was through remembering and looking back to the scriptures I have been taught since childhood, that faith pulled me to a higher understanding of the absolute greatness of God’s love for me.
Remember the great prophet, Elijah? He had his moment of fear and doubt, too. It came right after God had given him a huge victory over his enemy. A few verses later we find, Elijah, hiding in a cave, terrified that his foes were going to take his life. (1 Kings 17-19.)
The great King David, well, he had his moments too. The book of Psalms is full of them.
Oh, and Jesus’ own cousin. The one who leaped in his mother’s womb. The very same one that baptized Him and proclaimed, “Behold the Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world.” (John 1:29) He had his moment too. While imprisoned, John asked his disciples to go back to Jesus and ask Him if He was truly the one. (Matthew 11)
And do not let us forget our beloved Savior. The only one truly forsaken by God, the Father. In the garden, He prays let this cup pass from Me. The pain He was facing was more than physical. It was emotional and spiritual pain also. The heartbreak of being rejected, denied and betrayed. The anguish of knowing that for a short moment, sin triumphed as His body hangs on the cross. In those moments, He cried out, “Why have You forsaken me?”
So, therefore, you and I are going to face these same times when we feel completely abandoned and forgotten. But do not lose heart. For God will reveal Himself in time. For me, it came around my fortieth birthday. I, like my character Cade Andrews from Leann’s Victory, often questioned if God really cared then “why?” Today at forty-nine, I look back and see an amazing image of me being held in the hands of God. In those moments, that I could not see His face, it was because He held me securely within the palms of His hand; keeping me out of the reach of the enemy while molding me into the woman that I was created to be—His Daughter.
God is not really hiding from me, His hands are blocking my view of His face.
Father, help us to trust that when we cannot see your face. When we cannot feel Your presence, You have not forgotten us, nor have You abandoned us. It is during those times, Your hands of grace and mercy are covering us, keeping us sheltered and protected from the enemy and from ourselves. Thank You for Your wisdom that knows far more than we can ever attain. Thank You, for the gift of approaching You boldly knowing that You hear our hearts cry and that You care. In Jesus’ name, we humbly pray. Amen.
For You have been a shelter for me,
A strong tower from the enemy.
I will abide in Your tabernacle forever;
I will trust in the shelter of Your wings. Selah
(Psalm 61:3-4, NKJV)